A Look Into My Dysfunctional Family! Writing 101, Day 7.

WARNING: MAJOR PROFANITY AHEAD.

Yesterday afternoon, my dad, Wayne, had one of his teeth pulled and replaced with an implant. When he came home in severe pain, he took a couple of pain pills and laid down for a long nap.

He awoke several hours later, hungry and in even more pain, but he knew eating would just make the pain worse .. until he realized that ice cream would a great choice; it’ll satisfy the hunger and temporarily numb the pain.

In the living room, I’m chillaxing in front of the TV watching DVR’d South Park reruns. “How long ago did your sister leave?” my dad asks as he walks into the room. Cassie, my sister, came home from work and quickly changed and left like she does every night after work.

“I don’t know, maybe 15, 20 minutes ago?” I replied. “I wasn’t really paying attention; I’ve been sitting here watching this for like, an hour. She probably went to the gym. Why? Text her,” I continued.

“I need ice cream. My tooth is killing me, and I took a few pain pills today so I can’t drive,” he sighed.

“Ha, funny you say that!” I laugh. “The Ice Cream Man drove by earlier, and I wanted to wake you up so I can ask for some cash to get something. Figures; the one time I don’t bother you for something, you’re interested.”

“Was it Mr. Softee?”

“How should I know? I only heard him,” I respond. “Call Cassie and see what’s up with her. If she won’t go, I’ll take your car, hurhur,” I casually suggest, even though he probably wouldn’t let me drive his car if I had my license, he was dying and there was absolutely no possible way for him to get to the ER, including ambulance and other emergency transportation.

He gives me that “pssh, yeah, okay” look. “You can walk up there if she says no,” he says encouragingly.

“Bleh,” I whine.

He calls her, and of course they start arguing; they STAY arguing on some DUMB shit. “She said she’ll be home when she’s done at the gym, and not to bother her until she gets back,” he says, irritated and impatient.

“How long’ll that be?”

“Didn’t ask, didn’t say.”

“Probably forever.”

About an hour later, my sister finally strolls in and walks into the kitchen, where my dad is playing poker on his laptop. She immediately starts complaining about having to go in this “journey,” and tells my dad I can’t come with her when he asks her to bring me.

“Chill the fuck out, dude! What’s the big deal if I come?” I ask loudly. “I just want to make sure our orders won’t get messed up; it’s not like you’ll care because you’re getting something out of the deal, and that’s all that ever matters to you, ” I shout.

“Because you’ll take too long, and I have things to do!” she shouts back.

I like how she doesn’t reply to the second part of my statement. “Dude, Rita’s is RIGHT down the street; it’ll take what, 5 minutes? And it’s not my fault if there’s a line, or the employees are slow, or both! Come the fuck on!” I cry. “But whatever, man. I’ll text you what I want.” When I get back to the couch, I pick up my phone, open my texts, and ask for a small sundae with chocolate custard, hot fudge, Reese’s cups, and whipped cream and a cherry, even though I never eat the cherry. I start craving it immediately; ever since Rita’s started making sundae’s, it’s been my favorite ice cream parlor, and they aren’t stingy with their toppings! But it sucks they’re only open seasonally, and there isn’t one in the local mall.

She goes downstairs to switch her laundry, then leaves.

About 5 minutes after she leaves, my dad asks how long has it been since she left.

“Dude, it’s only been like, 5, 10 minutes!” I claim. I look at my phone. “I texted her at 7:42, and she read it at 7:59. It’s 8:06 now, you do the math,” I say, annoyed.

About 15 minutes later, my dad starts really complaining.

I look at the clock; 8:23. “I’m sure she’ll be back any minute,” I reassure him.

But I’m wrong; I hear her pull up at 8:43.

“‘Bout time!” He and I say in unison as I follow her into the kitchen.

“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?” she snarls.

“You’ve been gone for literally 40, 45 minutes!” I state. “Rita’s is RIGHT down the street!”

I pull our orders out of the bag. “Oh my god! Our ice cream is all melty, man! What the fuck!” I angrily complain.

“I didn’t want Rita’s, so I went to Starbucks. Then I went to the Rita’s in Hamilton Square*, and didn’t take the highway to or from because it’s nice out. The Rita’s over there is in the ‘hood’, and is always fucking crowded.” She says as she points in the direction of our neighborhood Rita’s.

“‘Hood?’ Seriously, dude? It’s in the same neighborhood as us; does that make OUR neighborhood ‘hood?’ NO! And it’s the only Rita’s on this side of town, so of course it was going to be crowded! Actually, I bet the Rita’s you went to was crowded as well!” I argue. “And our ice cream is all melty; what the fuck, man! You never have any respect for anyone here! You got what you want, fuck everyone else!”

“Nope, only one person ahead of me! And oh well; it’s not my problem it’s melted,” she says with certainty.

“Are you fricken serious?! Of course it’s your problem; our ice cream is soup because you wanted to take a joy ride! And the whole reason you were asked to go out for this was because Dad needed something cold to help him feel better; it’s kinda pointless now since it’s not cold!” I shout, HOPING she’ll get it through her head (even though she never does).

“Whatever, I’m horrible, I can’t follow directions, I suck at life, yada yada yada,” She gripes as she stomps downstairs to get her clean laundry. “I’m leaving, don’t call or text me anymore tonight!”

My dad and I sit silently at the table eating our delicious treat. Cassie comes back up a moment later and continues to go up and into her room. When she comes back down to put her shoes on and leave, my dad starts teasing her, and I start laughing.

“UGHHHH!!” She screams. “SHUT UP!” The door slams.

My dad starts laughing with me as we talk out about how uptight she is, and how much calmer it’ll be when she finally, HOPEFULLY moves out in August. T – 4 months and counting…

A map of most of my town; see right for better? description.

*Across town. I think she meant the Mercerville one though (which is also across town) cos she said she didn’t take the highway to/from, and Starbucks and Mercerville Rita’s are on the same street which run parallel to the highway, which is also like, a block away from my house. Hamilton Square Rita’s, on the other hand, is like Point C on a triangle if my Rita’s was Point A andMercerville is Point B. Check out my lovely map; click it to see better.

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Another piece of work I’m proud of that also didn’t take long to think up!

This is a true story that happened last night.

It’s kind of a different take on the compare and contrast. Now, I don’t think I compared and contrasted perfectly, but I wanted to compare and contrast the different personalities in my household: my sister, Cassie, is uptight, whiney, curses every other word (I curse too, but only when necessary; my dad on the other hand says corny stuff, like “flip” instead of “fuck” XD), “perfect princess”, etc. etc., while my dad and I are pretty laid back and goofy, and he and I can agree to that. But, my dad is starting to senile older, always repeats himself, talks to us like we’re little kids/stupid/etc., etc., and my sister and I can agree with that. I’m lazy, disorganized, and the “family fuck up”. But I’m the one who’s always scolding others for not cleaning up after themselves and keep the common areas (kitchen, living room, bathroom) clean and organized, and the two of them can agree to that. I also call people “dude” and “man” a lot, especially my family. Kinda weird, especially to my dad, but whatever!

I thought it might sound a little weird if I did it in someone else’s point of view, like the cat’s, so I did it in my point of view. It was easier too. Is this the whole, 1st, 2nd, 3rd, person thing? That always confuses me =X And if so, what person is the cat’s view, and what person is my view (the way I wrote it in)? I want to say the answer for the latter is 1st, but what about the former? The internet isn’t helping me at all; it’s making me seem like I wrote in both 1st and 3rd, according this chart from Ms. (or Mr.) Keller’s webpage on Point of View from her/his website for her/his Language Arts students .. I only checked out the chart; I didn’t read the whole page, even though it seems pretty informative.

I almost always check out the sites that Writing 101 links in the assignments for guidance, but I almost never credit them; not sure why. But today I want to credit WritetoDone.com’s article, 10 Easy Ways to Improve Your Dialogue. While reading through the assignment (but before they mentioned this article), I started to stress about this very topic; I knew it would be most difficult thing about the assignment. But after reading it, I actually felt confident about writing this dialogue because I knew I wouldn’t have to think of some fancy shamancy words .. plus the fact that the fancy shamanciness is said to be distracting!

Since I gave props to 10 Easy Ways to Improve Your Dialogue, I guess I should mention the helpful article listed in the assignment: He Said, She Said: Dialog Tags and Using Them Effectively from Scribophile.com. Unfortunately, I’m somewhat easily distracted, and since this article was kind of long and wordy, I couldn’t get into it. Or maybe it’s because I just don’t really understand what the author means by all of it. But probably both. So as I was going through my work, I noticed that I did/n’t do some of the things this article mentioned, so I spruced it up a little more. Please, let me know what you would have done. After this assignment, I feel like I might a knack for dialogue, so I need to learn all that I can.

Damn, sprucing it up took me longer that actually writing it! But that’s okay, because practice is perfect, right?

Oh! I figured out who I’m going to write about for Assignment #6, but I’m not sure when I’ll write. If you want to know why I didn’t write it [yet], click here (or if your on my homepage, scroll down to the next post after you finish reading, liking, commenting, and sharing on this post =] =P).

After I post this entry, I’m going to write an entry that I’ll either post tonight or tomorrow during the day about what I was saying yesterday

about how I meant to do something on this blog this past weekend, but #1 didn’t do it and #2 don’t want to mention what it is until I do it. Well, I ended up doing it last night, so now I need to explain; I’ll do that in my next post.

Until then, have a nice night, and a happy hump day tomorrow ;P

Your first example on how my thoughts go awry.

YO, someone please tell me how i can merge 2 google plus accounts together? i don’t even know if y’all know what i mean by that, but i have a youtube account and a gmail account and that means 2 g+ pages and although it’s not that big of a deal now, it may be once this and my eventual vlog [hopefully] take off. whatever, i don’t really care anymore.

also, for some reason it wouldn’t let me make a link to grav3yardgirl’s youtube account on my post, so i just had to put her name. wtf wordpress! maybe instead of using the text tab for this post, i’ll use the other tab (i don’t know the exact name for it right now) [[LOOK, I DID IT!! I’M UNDER THE “VISUAL” TAB. THIS IS WHAT I’LL USE FROM NOW ON!]]

but hi, hello, how is the new year going for you?! 2015, whoa. this june, i’ll have known my son’s father for *10* years (but not really .. i’ll explain more about that in a later post). this october, i’ll have been out of high school for 10 years. 5 years ago this september was my first time EVER in new year city, which really kind of sucks because i literally live like an hour away from manhattan, and never been. oddly enough, it was 9/11/10 when i was there, and we didn’t even realize it was 9/11 that day until we noticed that the empire state building was glowing red, white, and blue and it his us. yah, i went up there with a friend vinny (we don’t talk anymore unfortunately), and we went to see his friend’s band play at some pretty large venue .. unfortunately i don’t remember the name of the band OR venue. but i did have fun and i learned that cabs up there are surprisingly cheap! well, compared to cabs in the trenton area, which cost almost $5 just for you to step in it! the only good thing about trenton cabs is that they’re max $10 in city limits, but that’s it .. city limits. i literally live less than a mile from city limits, and it’s like an extra $10 .. luckily i have a bus pass (yay for living on government handouts) so i don’t have to worry about that stuff. speaking of government handouts, i’ve applied for SSDI a few times in the past few years, but i’ve never really followed through. do any of you receive SSDI or SSI? can you give me any advice, tips, stories, etc. BESIDES getting a lawyer? i know i’ll probably have to get one at some point, but still. to be honest, i would rather work, but i have alot of mental health and substance issues i need to work out before i can start working full time, and yeah. that’s another post that’s not for today.

i want to apologize for not writing yesterday. i literally slept for like 28 hours straight .. well not exactly. i went to bed around 10:30am on 1/1, and slept on and off until about 2:30pm today when i was like fml i really need to get up and start writing for my plethora of fans lol .. i was actually pleasantly surprised when i looked at my phone i had a notification stating that 5 people liked my previous post! like super happy! shit, even one would have made my day! so that must mean i’m doing something right, RIGHT?! i kind of wish that i received a comment or two, but i’m not worried about that, because i know at least one person took a moment out of their day to read my thoughts. I LOVE YOU GUYS! IF I REMEMBER, I WILL LINK YOU GUYS TO THIS POST AND GIVE CREDIT WERE CREDIT IS DUE. [[I REMEMBERED!!! THANK YOU orwell1627, suzie81speaks, etwong212, aliceearly, and emmasiv!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!!]]

i don’t know if i mentioned this in my previous post (brb lemme look =]) (i didn’t; k good), but i really thought i was going to spend NYE alone which was kind of depressing because it’s my favorite holiday! but i mentally prepared myself to be alone. well around 8pm, i randomly messaged my friend kev (i’m going to write a post specifically for all of the people i talk about on here and regularly update it, so stay tuned) on FB because even though i was prepared to spend the night alone, i figured he might not be mad at me anymore (we had a fight/thing on xmas eve because i invited him, sabrina (his gf), and earl (a guy who lives with them) and then uninvited them because my dad said no) and we could hang out. so i went to his house and chilled and it was fun. luckily their friend charlie was there and was able to take me home .. so he did around 2? when i came home i started writing this entry, even though you haven’t read ANYTHING of what i wrote that night because it’s all below .. or in a different post entirely! basically what i wrote were #1 ideas to talk about for this post/to research #2 a few paragraphs for this entry #3 links to those 30 day challenge things. speaking of the 30 day challenges .. man, i didn’t even post yesterday! so now i have to wait til next month .. not! i’ll probably start tonight. but like i said, there’s LINKS. i found SO many things on pintrest (see below) that i went pintrest crazy .. literally i was on there for like 3 hours just pinning stuff. and now i have to pick just ONE challenge? NOOOOOOO!! but i think i will just start with one, because obviously i sleep for days and don’t want to promise something i can’t keep.

speaking of sleeping for days and mental illness, i’ve finally admitted to myself that i don’t have “situational” depression and that i have “legit” depression. seriously, i don’t want to get off the couch for anything, and if i had a real bed i’d probably sleep alot longer than i do now. real bed, you ask? well when i moved back into my dad’s house (another post for another day .. it’ll be titled “my current situation” or something along those lines) he told me i can sleep on the world’s most uncomfortable futon .. like it’s too skinny to sleep when it’s in couch mode, and when it’s in mattress mode it’s got two really uncomfortable bars that go in a little t/cross shape that are just so annoying and i literally have like 2 feet between the wall and the bar to sleep in. and it’s not like a regular futon that comes with the couch and you put a big ol futon mattress on top .. it looks like this:

but yeah, i slept on it for like a week; fuck that. the only time i do sleep in it is when kev stays over because yeah lol. plus it’s much less uncomfortable then. so i sleep on my couch which is pretty fucking awesome because it reclines to almost 180°. ha! i can’t believe i still remember ALT+0176 .. it was the one i used the most. but yeah, all i really do is sleep. i have no motivation to do ANYTHING. it’s even a struggle to pick up my methadone (another day post) everyday. speaking of methadone, the other night i was asking kev, earl, and charlie for their input and suggestions for the name of this blog. earl kept telling me to use junkie related words, and i had to keep explaining to him that i want this blog to be pg13ish .. like i want everyone to be able to read this .. well not everyone? i don’t know, i want to have fans of all different ages. plus, if my blog was called “heroin chic” (pronounced sheek, not chick!! i hate when people pronounce chic wrong!!) or “#junkielife”, it probably wouldn’t be appropriate for people under 18 JUST BECAUSE of the name. besides, with the name like a that, (hey, do you guys think i use commas way too much? let me know! i need to learn how to use commas more appropriately, don’t i?), you would assume that all i’d be talking about is getting high and stuff, right? and that’s not what i want my blog to be about. besides, i barely get high anymore (methadone, god’s greatest gift to the junkies =]), so it’d be pointless anyway. so yeah, “no motivation to do anything” .. like i go to PHP (stands for “partial hospitalization” .. it’s basically like IOP (intensive out patient), except it’s longer each day and you’re there more often each week) at my methadone clinic, but it sucks because #1 most of the people there are for drug court/there involuntary, so it’s usually them just bitching about how their supposed to be there instead of talking about the topic of the group, which #2 there really isn’t even one anyway, which really sucks because they do have a few process groups each week, but most of the time each groups turns out to be a process group! ugh, so annoying. i’m on medicaid, so it’s really hard to find someone i can have MENTAL HEALTH ONLY 1 on 1 counseling with .. i’m on a waiting list in SO many places. it’s also really hard to find a PHP/IOP place .. once again, waiting lists. ugh! so i want to focus on mental health and substance abuse issues before i go back to work. also, back in october i filed a financial appeal with my local community college .. long story short (maybe a longer story another day) back in 2008 i lost my financial aid because i kept fucking up in school, and they wouldn’t reinstate until #1 i pay out of pocket for one semester or #2 i submit an appeal. unfortunately they denied the appeal and it made me even more unmotivated because i REALLY NEED to go back .. i have legit plans! i want to go community college and get my associates in communications, then transfer to rutgers and get my bachelors in communication with a specialization in health and wellness and relationships and families (whoa, alot of “ands” lol). then possibly get my masters in public health, social work, and/or counseling! alot of goals .. ruined because i’m cheap lol. i COULD go to a different community college or try TESC (thomas edison state college; an online school for adults .. much more legit [and cheaper!] than u of phoenix, etc.), get my associates, then go to rutgers .. but we’ll see. blah, and if i go back to work full time, i’ll lose my methadone grant and my medicaid. plus i won’t be able to go to PHP anymore. i COULD work part time, but #1 it’s SO hard to find a part time job in an office for a temp agency (where i’d like to work). i wouldn’t mind working in retail for like 15-20 hours a week since most stores pay SHIT but #2 99.999999% of stores are hiring right now since the season is over. #3 i am too clumsy and i can’t multitask for shit, so working in a restaurant (well, at least as a server) is out of the question, and i almost refuse to work in fast food .. NOT because “i’m better than that”, but because i have adult acne which is FINALLY under control (yay for 10% benzoyl peroxide products!), and working around grease would be a big no no!. wow, this paragraph is terribly long, and this post is already “too long” and i’m not even done yet!! ahh!!

well, i’m almost done. unfortunately i’m not gonna post most of what i wanted to that i wrote in my ideas section at the top of this notepad file .. notepad is my favorite; i don’t care. i’m sure once i really get this blog up and running i’ll start writing my actual posts in word, but until then notepad is fine. oh, and i say word because i’m just going to copy and paste .. but as you can see this post has no capitalization in it what so ever. and writing in word will make it easier to write properly. i have no worries about spell check because my browser comes with spell check so i just spell check my posts before i post them! yeah, i have no idea why i write in lower case only .. it’s just my style, i guess. DEAL WITH IT! lol .. well here ya go: the following paragraphs are what i wrote on NYE after i came home from kev’s, but never posted until now. stuff that [[LOOKS LIKE THIS]] are little notes i made NOW, today after re-reading these paragraphs .. does that make sense?

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well, i think that i’m gonna try to do about 2-3 posts a day .. how does that sound? it depends? yeah, you’re right, i should explain more before you tell me how awesome or lame that sounds. okay, so .. first i want a “normal” journal post, like how my day went and stuff. thoughts and rants/raves. basically, the whole reason why i started my journal blog thing (i should start calling it my jlog, or bournal. biary? lol nah, too close to “binary”. but both sound cute =} lol .. nah, can’t be bournal either, cos that sounds too much like “boring” and i don’t want to be boring! even though i probably am because i just keep going off track with my “too long” posts! ah whatever, journal blog thing it is!) was for “therapeutic” reasons .. hence the name *Th0uGhTs g0nE aWrY* <~~ ha! remember back in the day (like late 90’s – early 00’s) when it was either really cute or really annoying to write like that? [[<~~ WELL OBVIOUSLY I ALREADY DID ALL OF THIS FOR TODAY BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THIS POST IS]] ANYWAYS! after i post my awry thoughts, i’ll post at least one prompt (you know, like a 30 day challenge thing of that nature). how many is too much? if i could, i’d post like 38349873290 a day lol .. not really. could you recommend any good prompt/30 day challenge/etc. sites i can check out? until then, here’s a link to my pintrest… add me!

thank you pintrest for helping me find the perfect prompts! i actually just made a pintrest a few days ago after many months of “uh, fuck that”, even though i didn’t really know exactly what the site was all about and stuff. now that i know, i kinda know why i didn’t really want to make one .. because it’s basically like a website for your favorite places (or bookmarks as they’re called now)! except you’re sharing them with the world! cool, i guess? to be honest, i only made an account because it was starting to get really annoying every single time i’d go to pintrest.com, because when i did i’d get one of those big ol in screen pop ups telling me to sign up for pintrest.com. WELL, YA GUYS GOT ME .. AND I’M ACTUALLY KINDA HAPPY ABOUT IT! THANKS AGAIN! so, it’s 5:11am, and i’m off to find some good prompts and challenges and stuff that i can use for this month. i’ll write more later this evening after i wake up .. yeah, fuck my sleep schedule. hard. with a pineapple up the virgin butthole of a heterosexual 18 year old boy. okay ewlk, that’s [[REALLY!! OMG]] fucked up .. i want readers of all ages, and although i will curse on here, language like that will be rare, i promise! please, don’t hate me and stop reading forever! i’ll make it up to you, i promise that too =D

YA KNOW WHAT?! after going through pintrest and seeing MADD pins on blogging .. why am i stressing about content for my blog? i mean yeah, i’m doing this #1 for therapeutic reasons #2 for your pleasure (like i said a million times before) .. but as you can see, #1 is first. yes, you are important! but to be honest (and selfish) i come before anyone else. agree? why [not]? i must have literally pinned over 100 things!! [[AS OF TODAY, 1/2/15, I HAVE 8 BOARDS IN WHICH I’VE PINNED 155 THINGS IN TOTAL, I’VE LIKED 14 THINGS, I DON’T HAVE ANY FOLLOWERS (YET! FOLLOW ME! /blo0dchild!), AND I’M FOLLOWING 189 INTERESTS, PINNERS (INCLUDING PEOPLE THAT AUTOMATICALLY CAME FROM MY FB), AND BOARDS]]

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oh yeah, since i want to make this an interactive blog, i am going to highlight the questions i want you guys to answer in a different color! that way, it’ll be easier for you to go back and find them if you want to be the best person ever and help us out on making my idea come to life =]

ahh, speaking of pintrest .. can you tell me how i can edit my following interests? i’m sure there’s a way, i just can’t find it right now.

also speaking of pintrest .. yo, i’ve found SO many ideas! like, i’m not creative AT all and there are soo many things here i want to do, like start an art journal? and what’s the difference between an art journal, a smash book .. all of those cool things? i want to try everyone! alas, i am broke .. and i all i have are markers and some crayons =/ but that’s better than nothing, right? blah. i’m not artsy at all anyway .. but i’m thinking maybe by starting one, it’ll help me get more artsy. OH, i’m about to get a “wreck this journal” which seems REALLY FUCKING AWESOME, so let’s consider that my first art journal. grav3yardgirl actually introduced me to wreck this journal. and it seemed SO cool that i only watched the first few minutes of her first “wreck this wednesdays” post because i really want to do one, and she mentioned that she did some “research” and stuff and it made her compare to other peoples stuff and i’m glad i didn’t do that because then i’ll want to do what other people did and then it wouldn’t be as unique as it should be! so i stopped watching the video. that’s actually one of the things i’d like to vlog about, and of course name it “wreck this wednesdays” because why not, i’m not copying her too bad, right? besides, it just goes together.

oh, i kind of lied up there when i said “WELL, OBVIOUSLY I ALREADY DID ALL OF THIS FOR TODAY…” because obviously i didn’t! i talked about yesterday and NYE. next post will be on today and stuff. this post is WAYYYY “too long”, don’t you agree? seriously, tell me .. is this post too too “too long”? if you actually read this far (bless your kind, kind soul <3) .. tell me, what is “too long” for you? can you tell me what i can do to make my posts shorter, more fun, more entertaining, etc? I NEED YOUR HELP GUYS! i know most of y’all have alot more experience than me, and it would be greatly appreciated if you can help me become as successful as you are .. that’s all i really want in life [right now].

okay, i think that’s all i have to say for right now. i’m gonna come up with a title, paste this into wordpress, do a little editing, post it, then start on my post that has to do with this! until next time y’all…

PS – do i use wayy too many tags? i don’t know if i’m doing it more for you, me, or both equally. hmm..

Writing a blog .. what’s the difference between a personal blog and a journal?

writing a blog .. what’s the difference between a personal blog and a journal??

obviously alot .. i’ve been wanting to journal for a long time now, and i do on and off. it started the first time i went to detox about two years ago exactly .. exactly because i remember watching the ball drop with a few fellow junkies in the common room of a popular nj psychiatric hospital. two minutes after, the techs made us go to sleep =( <~~ see, this is why i wanted to name this blog “ruminating thoughts”. actually, i wanted to name it something like “ruminating thoughts .. thoughts gone astray” but the double thoughts didn’t go well in my opinion so it’s just “thoughts gone astray” for now. ahh, and see most of this paragraph isn’t even about my answer to the question above! let’s see if i can answer it now ..

okay, i guess a blog is basically peoples opinions and facts and stuff about stuff .. but that’s kind of what a journal is too?! ugh, whatever. i’m just gonna say this is my journal blog thing .. i’m not journaling, i’m blogging (or vice versa) i journal in my blog .. yes/no? either way, i’m doing this more for myself than for others, and i’m doing it for fun, not for money (although it would be awesome to eventually become internet famous and make money!).

i feel like i’m not doing paragraphs right, but oh well cos #1 this is my blog and #2 my first post! unfortunately, i didn’t do very well in school, so i’m not good at the whole grammar thing (i can spell though =] and know the difference between you and to and etc.). anyways, why did i start this you may want to know? well, a few weeks ago i was screwing around on youtube and came across grav3yardgirl, who was doing a video called “DOES THIS THING REALLY WORK?!” i don’t remember what the product she tried was called (she’s done a whole bunch), but i’ve been watching her since then. she has madd different topics, such as hauls, follow me around this store, favorites of the month, paranormal (earlier videos, hence her name .. she doesn’t do them anymore =( ), regular vlogs, and much more. check her out! i kinda want to model my blog (and eventual vlog .. more about that later) after her channel .. like she’s really interactive, and that’s what i want to do with you guys .. maybe not on here as much as on my eventual vlog, but i promise that once i start getting fans that i want to talk about stuff you guys want me to talk about .. like i’ll blog/vlog about my day/week/life, and then you guys will comment and be like, tell us more about this and that! ask questions! i want to eventually be able to do tags and q&a’s and stuff like that .. maybe it’s because i don’t think i’m that creative enough to come up with any topics? so right now my plans are [hopefully] everyday to #1 one post about day (for therapeutic reasons; to vent and rant and rave) #2 one post (at least) from a monthly writing challenge. and then when i start vlogging i’ll probably talk about the same thing for a while, i don’t know, because sometimes it’s alot easier to talk than type, or listen than read, right?

while doing some “how to start a blog” research, one of the most reoccurring tips told me not to make make posts too long .. but didn’t specify what “too long” meant, which kind of sucks for me considering the facts that #1 the name of this blog (and what i wanted to name it and #2 i predict most of my posts will be “too long” .. but whatever because like i said, i want to interact with you guys, and i figure that as long as i gain and keep readers who like me and interact, that y’all (i feel like i’m the only person born and raised nj that says “y’all” instead of “you guys”) won’t mind my “too long” posts.

so, while i write my next and [probably] (<~~ those are called brackets, right? i need to figure out when it’s appropriate to use them instead of parenthesis .. and you know how like when you’re reading something, like an interview for example, and it’s like [word]? like does that mean the editor or whoever added a word that the interviewee didn’t day, or what? also, what does [sic] mean? yah, i know i can google all this .. but these are just my thoughts, guys!! although i more than appreciate ALL of your feedback =D) final entry of 2014 .. tell me a little more about yourself! how were your holidays; what did you do/get or where’d you go?! what kind of content do you want to see from me? what do you want to know about me? and PLEASE, promote yourself to your friends! i need all the support and love i can get =] also, please! any and all feedback about journaling/blogging/vlogging/this stuff! is GREATLY appreciated and wanted (needed) so if you like what you read already, or think i have potential .. HELP A SISTER OUT! you will be greatly rewarded by being credited and having a permanent link to any and/or all of your social media. THANK YOU!

you know what i just realized? i haven’t even made a wordpress account yet! what if thoughts gone astray is taken?! then what?! i guess i could always use blo0dchild since i use that for everything else, and it would make me easier to find .. but we’ll see!! and if thoughtsgoneastray IS available, maybe i’ll also make blo0dchild and direct it here. okay, see ya.

wait, i lied [again]! emojis for wordpress? like i just said, i haven’t even made an account yet so i really don’t know, but hopefully they have em! i love emojis, especially apple’s .. that’s one of only like 3 reasons why i like their products (well, my phone) but i’ll talk about that in a different post. anyways, if they don’t have them, i wonder if i can find a site with a bazillion of them that i can put into my posts so i don’t have to use generic old =] and stuff. alright, i’m serious this time .. i’m off to make an account, semi (barely) edit this (i’ll explain later), post, then promote! have a fun night!!!