Posts Tagged ‘borderline personality disorder’
Tags: #funnyemails, anti journal, art journal, art journaling, astrology, blogging 101, board games, body modifcation, borderline personality disorder, bpd, candy, card games, creative journaling, david sinden, emojis, ghosts, heroin, makeup tutorials, methadone, nikalas catlow, nocturnal, paranormal experiences, piercing, piercings, pseudo science, south park, substance abuse, tarot cards, wreck this journal, wreck this journal everywhere
Hey guys. As I explained in my most previous post, #1 yesterday’s lesson didn’t require a post like this #2 I had a shitty night, so I didn’t post this.
For Day 3, I was supposed to follow five new topics in the Reader and five new blogs.
#funnyemails was just suggested to me on the sidebar, so I just started following him.
So alright, there ya go: 5 tags and 5 people (yeah I can count; there’s more than 5). I actually created a decent amount of tags and followed a ton of people on Tuesday night, but didn’t write anything down. So last night, as I was finishing up adding tags from the list of tags I typed, I just used those tags and found those people… except Destroy What You Enjoy .. I dig art journals, even though I haven’t made one myself (yet). She also introduced me to Anti Journal by David Sinden and Nikalas Catlow, and it definitely seems more fun than Wreck This Journal. I can’t wait to get my Anti Journal and start working on it. Speaking of which, I still haven’t started on my Wreck This Journal Everywhere; fuck, man! Whatever though, one day…
And just for fun, here’s a list of all of the tags I’m now following, just in case you’d like to know some of my interests: art journal, art journaling, astrology, bpd, blogging101, board games, body modification, borderline personality disorder, candy, card games, chocolate, creative journaling, emojis, ghosts, heroin, makeup tutorials, methadone, nocturnal, paranormal experiences, piercing, piercings, pseudo science, south park, substance abuse, tarot cards, wreck this journal.
Alright, I’m off to edit and post Day 4.
Tags: blogging 101, borderline personality disorder, dad, mental health, synonyms, tagline, wreck this journal everywhere, youtube
I don’t want to start with “good evening” on every single post I make, but it’s safe to assume that almost all of my posts will be posted (or at least wrote and edited) hours after the sun has gone down… at least during winter time. I think I’m slowly starting to become nocturnal, and while it’s not totally a bad thing… I’d rather be somewhat normal and have a normal schedule.
Before I get to today’s post on Day 2! Of my Blogging 101 course, I’d just like to say two things… #1 that I finally got my Wreck This Journal Everywhere! Although it (AND Wreck This Journal) really doesn’t seem as fun as I thought it would be. I need to look at every single page though. And I want to start it tonight, especially since it snowed today! And I believe one of the questions says to drag it around, outside, on a string. Although maybe it might be a little more creative if I waited until tomorrow and drug it around in the dirty, grey gutter snow? Let me know, since I have to go out tomorrow anyway to dose just like every other day. So, let me bang out this post so I can clean my bathroom, take a shower, and go on with my horrible* life… and when I say that, I mean that I’m probably going to start on Day 3 since it was posted a little more than an hour ago (I live in NJ, USA [EST -5] and I’m started writing this around 8:15pm). #2 Thank you to all of the WONDERFUL people who liked and commented my previous post, which was Day 1 of Blogging 101. I’d also like to thank all of you who decided to follow me after reading it… or any of my other posts. It really, truly means a lot to me that you guys, my new fans! Actually want to “hear” (read) what I have to say! UGH, SO HAPPY ❤ ❤ Alright, on with the show!
For today’s lesson, I’m supposed to “edit my title and tagline”. My first thought was something like “OMG NO WAY DUDE; IT TOOK ME *DAYS* TO THINK OF “THOUGHTS GONE AWRY; I’M NOT BEAT!” But at the end, I was told that if I’m “already thrilled”, I can still publish a post. Great! Because although I really do like my tagline as well, I don’t mind having to change it; mainly because it’s already used in my bio. Speaking of my bio, I still need to update it to the new one that I wrote for yesterday’s lesson.
Surprisingly, it didn’t take long at all to come up with my tagline since I just copied and pasted it from my Twitter, @blo0dchild. Ha, funny… but in all seriousness, it really didn’t take that long to think up. And as mentioned before, I hate writing bios. And this is kind of the same thing. I mentioned somewhere
OKAY IT’S NOW ALMOST 10:30, FML! DUDE, I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS… Okay, my dad ordered pizza a little bit before I started writing. When it got here, I figured I’d watch a couple of videos on YouTube while I ate so I don’t get ick all over my keyboard. +60 minutes later, I’m watching pointless, mind-numbing videos about hip hop artists in the Illuminati. Thank god I came to when I did, or I’d still be watching. Anyways, back to what I was talking about…
Great, I forgot where I was going with that. Ahh well. Tagline… alright, basica I REMEMBERED!!! WOW! Alright, I was talking about how getting opinions on blog names from a couple of friends. One friend suggested I use the work “junkie”, but I declined because I really don’t want to focus on using and all that good stuff. But maybe incorporating my addiction and mental illness in my tagline could work? And be cute and funny with it. Something like .. “the thoughts and ______ of a crazy ex junkie”. I almost always describe myself as a “crazy ex junkie” anyway, so I’ll run with it. But the word “thoughts” is already in my title, so I don’t want to repeat it. And I can’t think of another word to go in there. Maybe scratch that all together, and put “the rants and raves of a crazy ex junkie”? But then it just seems as if I’m doing reviews and opinion pieces and stuff.
…the ruminating journal of a crazy ex junkie…
ramblings, nonsense, babble, thought, ponder, contemplate, complain, gripe, chatter, praise, scatterbrained, frivolous, whimsical, lost in thought, abstracted, out to lunch (lol), unpredictable, volatile,
Okay, I’ve come to the conclusion that my new tagline will be… “the unpredictable writings of a volatile ex junkie”.
I changed “crazy” to “volatile” simply because I liked all of the synonyms for volatile on Thesaurus.com. And I’m definitely unpredictable, would you agree? I mean, sometimes I can write legit, intellectual stuff… but other times, I can also write ignorant nonsense <~~~ I’M WARNING YOU NOW. I also wanted to change “journal” simply because it didn’t sound right with everything else.
I’m pleasantly surprised that thinking of a new tagline only took a half hour, oh snap! I’m off to edit, post, and
continue watching Illuminati videos.
Before I go, I want to give a little shout out to Mass he? (only left an e-mail address, but I figured he was a guy because his email address has the name “Spencer” in it) commented, on my previous post and asked some pretty important questions: What do you do all day? How do you survive if you don’t work? Well, Mr. Mass… here’s you answer (I actually commented back to him, but I figured it I’d also add to this post so more people could see it :)):
You ask why I do all day and how do I survive if I don’t work. I *GRATEFULLY* live at my dad’s with him and my sister .. the only thing that sucks about living with him (I don’t mind living with her, expect for the fact that she never puts her dishes in the dishwasher!) is that it really, truly seems like he’s pushing my buttons ON PURPOSE so I can freak out and he can kick me out AGAIN. Again? Yeah, a few years ago, BEFORE I even started getting high (on heroin… he never cared that I smoked pot) because I freaked out on him for doing his button pushing thing. What I mean by that is that freaks out on me for *ABSOLUTELY NO REASON* (here’s one – he freaked out on me tonight actually for not telling him there was no more color safe bleach, and he couldn’t do his *ANY* laundry because of it! #1 I never use that shit, and neither does my sister #2 he damn well knew he was running low OBVIOUSLY since he’s the only one who uses it!!!), so I freak out back, and boom I’m in the crisis center or holding because he called the cops on a false accusation, and because he’s the homeowner and I’m documented crazy, he wins 😦 I survive on “government handouts” lol as I like to call them; food stamps and Medicaid. Unfortunately I’m not receiving welfare (cash assistance) but I really don’t care because if I do extra work around the house, my dad buys me smokes. Andd I sleep all day. Literally hahaha. Seriously though, for some reason I’m nocturnal, and I try SO hard to get into a normal thing, and fail miserably. So I wake up around 2-3pm, go to IOP (and dose) from 4-7pm (or sometimes 8pm), and then chill out until around 6-7am, and do it all over again!
I SERIOUSLY hate thinking of tags (and categories); I hope there’s a lesson on it.
Tags: blogging 101, borderline personality disorder, dual diagnosis, interact with me!, mental health, rant and rave, recovering addict, substance abuse, therapeutic journaling
Good evening, you beautiful soul! ❤ 😀 I hope you had a nice Monday. Mine wasn’t horrible, but we’ll talk about that some other time; I want to get straight down to business.
I mentioned on Saturday that “I still have to a do a decent “about me” post”, so what you’re about to read is a little introduction about who I am and why I’m here, blogging on WordPress… I hope that after reading this, you either continue to follow me, or decided to follow me 🙂
I like to think that I’m cute and funny although I’d like to be hott and hilarious, but I’m probably just average and corny… YOU BE THE JUDGE. Ha, I crack myself up. Seriously though, that’s really what I think. I’m a 27 year old female from Central NJ. I should have an awesome career, a degree, a sexy husband, and MAYBE a family… but I have NONE of these things, although I do have a 7 year old son, Jay, out of wedlock, but I haven’t seen or spoken to him in over 4 years. “Oh, no! Why?” you may ask? Long story short, I’m a (what I like to call) a “crazy junkie”; I’m an ex heroin addict with Borderline Personality Disorder. Although I don’t consider myself in “real” addiction recovery (as in, I’m not a 12 stepper; I just don’t get high), I haven’t used any hard drugs since July 27, 2014 :D. I’ll admit, I am on methadone maintenance (which is very controversial)… but it sure as hell beats where I was just a few months ago. I’m now slowly, but surely getting better; I’m getting help for my substance abuse issues, and I’m on a waiting list (I’m on Medicaid, but it’s better than nothing… plus, it’s free :D) to get help for my mental heath issues. Once I’m confident that I’ve made a significant improvement, I will try to see Jay again; hopefully his father, Kyle, and Family Court have the confidence by then as well.
Since I don’t work ($ = trigger = relapse = 👿 ), go to school (my Financial Aid appeal to local my Community College was denied back in December, so I don’t have many other options), or really do anything at all, I began contemplating starting a vlog. It seemed really fun, but I was lacking some things, the most important being a decent camera. So then I decided that maybe blog may be better (for the time being); I’ve already been trying to journal for the past couple years, only to stop after a few weeks or months. It was fun and surprisingly made me feel better, but then I’d get discouraged and stop when I’d forget and not write a couple of days in a row. I did very little research on blogging before I made the decision to make a WordPress account and start writing long, boring posts about my day, life, thoughts, and etc; I’m actually journaling, not blogging, which is what I wanted… right? Well, duh… but after doing more research on blogging, I knew I could make something bigger if I really wanted to.
I literally don’t have any talents; at least, none that I’m aware of. While doing my blogging research, the lightbulb in my head came on :idea:. “Here’s something I really haven’t thought about trying and having it successfully work out… what if blogging is my expertise?!” I figured that I could at least just start out by actually journaling; as long as I continue to research and practice what they preach, I’d be in business! Speaking of preaching, I stumbled upon WordPress’ official unofficial (or is it unofficial official?) blog, The Daily Post, a blog by bloggers, for bloggers. This blog seemed pretty fricken informative, so I read article after article after article, until I found the Holy Grail, *THE* information I was looking for… a FREE 30 day blogging course! And OMG! The course was starting in less than a week! It’s called Blogging 101, and it’s basically a 30 day online course for beginner bloggers; it’s pretty self explanatory just by reading the title. I signed up for it immediately and literally counted down the hours until the first lesson, “Introducing Yourself” was posted. Now here I am, introducing myself to you.
Now that you know a little about me and why I’m here, the next question is… who exactly are you? I imagine you to be someone who just loves meeting new, interesting people, and wanting to know their story. You’re very opinionated, and you appreciate like minded people; you know what you want in life, you take pleasure in debating, and always have great, original thoughts, suggestions, advice, etc. You know you’re the complete opposite of me, yet you have a strange desire to find at least one thing we have in common. And of course, you enjoy reading journal-like blogs, such as mine; you are delighted by interacting with others with your above mentioned thoughts and etc. just as I do. You’re not just a reader… you’re my fan, and I’m your’s. Finally, and most importantly… you might be an addict, mentally ill, or both; and, following along beside me, you’re trying to find the experience, strength, and hope to start a life worth living. ❤ ❤
I honestly, truly do want to make this blog “bigger than I ever thought possible”, but I need to start slow. I don’t need to focus on posting literal awry thoughts, but sometimes it’s alright if I know it’ll be a good story. Basically, I just want to #1 write whatever comes to mind, and go with it. Some days a journal entry, some days a prompt or two, some days something totally different; I really don’t know… Thoughts Gone Awry is only a few days old, so it’s really too early to decide, don’t you agree? #2 I want to interact with my readers; I’ve already asked countless questions. Unfortunately, nobody has answered them; but that’s okay! Like I said, not even a week old! But my ultimate goal, if blog successfully throughout 2015 (and beyond!), I’ll accomplish so much! As stated above, I’ll have legit fans, not just readers… and plenty of you! Continuous interaction; we’ll never get bored… we’ll answer prompts together and (or at least) discuss them. I’ll do Q&A’s and tags for y’all. I want you all to be there when things start getting really good in my life; if any of you are struggling addicts, I want to be able to motivate you to stop getting high and start living a life worth living! Seriously yo, to me, hanging out on the internet all day and interacting with people… doing what I want y’all to do with me, is more fun than drooling all over myself half asleep… and believe me dude, I legit thought that was fun.
Well, there ya have it! Everything you wanted to know about me, why I’m here, and why I want you to love me, hah! I’ll love you too though, that’s the whole reason why I want you in the first place! In all seriousness though, I really hope you were entertained by this learning experience as much as I took joy in writing it… and I’m not even being sarcastic; I actually had fun writing this, believe it or not. Yes, it was tedious since I really don’t like writing bios, but I pulled through because I REALLY want to get this blogging stuff down! buenos noches mi amigo 😀 <~~ lol did I spell that right?